You raised your child to know the Lord. You took them to church, taught them to pray, and tried to show them what it means to follow Jesus. Now they’re grown, and they no longer follow Christ.
You love them as much as ever, but you’re not sure what to do. Should you bring up their faith? Challenge their decisions? Or leave the subject alone? You don’t want to push them farther away. But you also don’t want to remain silent about something that matters so much.
Your role as a parent has changed. Your calling to love your child faithfully hasn’t.
Accept What You Cannot Control
When your child was young, you had authority over much of their life. Now they’re an adult, making decisions you may strongly disagree with. You can offer counsel, explain the gospel, and encourage them to follow Christ. But you cannot make them believe.
Paul wrote that he planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the growth (1 Corinthians 3:6–7). The same principle applies to your witness as a parent. You can faithfully point your child to Jesus, but only God can change their heart. That’s why you keep praying.
Keep the Relationship Strong
When you’re worried about your child’s faith, it’s easy to let that concern dominate every conversation. You ask whether they’ve found a church. You question their decisions. You bring up something the pastor said on Sunday. Eventually, they may begin avoiding conversations because they know where every discussion is headed.
Continue taking an interest in their life. Ask about their work. Enjoy time together. Celebrate their accomplishments.
You can love your child without approving of every decision they make. Your convictions remain unchanged. So does your love. And when conversations about faith arise, they’re more likely to listen if they know you’re willing to listen too.
Speak Honestly and Gently
Some parents avoid discussing faith because they’re afraid of damaging the relationship. Others challenge every belief or decision they disagree with. Scripture calls us to speak truthfully with gentleness and respect (1 Peter 3:15).
If your child asks what you believe, answer honestly. If they raise questions about Christianity, listen carefully. And if there’s something important you want to say, consider asking, “Would you be willing to hear my thoughts?”
You don’t have to turn every disagreement into a confrontation.
If your child describes painful experiences with Christians or the church, take those concerns seriously. And if they point to something you genuinely handled badly as a parent, be willing to apologize. Your willingness to listen and acknowledge your own failures can demonstrate the very faith you want them to embrace.
Keep Praying and Trust Christ
In Luke 15, Jesus told the parable of a son who left home and eventually returned. His father welcomed him with compassion and joy. The parable reveals God’s gracious welcome of repentant sinners. It also reminds parents of the value of keeping their hearts open toward a wandering child.
Keep praying for your child by name. Ask God to open their heart to the gospel and bring faithful Christians into their life.
Don’t use family gatherings, financial help, or access to grandchildren to pressure them into professing faith. And don’t assume that years of silence mean God isn’t working. You cannot know what He may be doing in someone’s heart.
Your child may return to Christ, or they may continue rejecting Him. Scripture doesn’t promise that every child raised in a Christian home will eventually believe. But Jesus came to seek and save the lost (Luke 19:10). His power to save is greater than your ability to persuade.
So keep loving your child, speak faithfully when you have the opportunity, and bring them before the Lord in prayer.
You cannot save your child. But you can entrust them to the Savior who can.
Grace and peace,
Mike
Live for what lasts. Build your life on Christ.
Worth The Cost is a discipleship series from Built On Christ | Mike Sorrell Ministries about following Jesus faithfully, whatever the cost.
